Deep luteal and menstrual Cree is very different from follicular and ovulation Cree. In many ways I feel like a very different human depending on where I am in my cycle. Thankfully I’ve been practicing menstrual cycle awareness for long enough, that I know how to best support myself no matter what phase I’m in.
My recent travels to the Riviera Maya definitely put all of my practices to the test!
I was presented with an opportunity to see if I was going to choose to rationalize staying somewhere that didn’t serve me or if I was going to empower myself to follow the guidance of my soulful self and support myself in the ways I needed most.
Since I uprooted from my home in Salt Lake City in August of 2020, I have been in total spirit flow mode, meaning that I am tuning into where my spirit wants to be next and intuitively following the guidance, looking for synchronistic signs along the way.
That’s what took me to Mexico.
The only plan I had going out there for 3 weeks was to go to a retreat that my friend was planning outside of Tulum for the Winter Solstice. The night before I was set to fly, I still didn’t know where I was going to stay when I first arrived.
Every time I tried to book accommodations it never happened for one reason or another. Rather than worry, I decided to trust. That’s a big part of what spirit flow is all about and one of my favorite parts about travel. And besides, when does worrying ever do any good anyways?!?
Literally just before I got on my flight, my friend called to tell me that he had to cancel the retreat I was planning to go to, but there happened to be two others to choose from. The one I chose was over an hour north from where I was planning to book accommodations.
Thank you spirit and higher self for nothing lining up before then!
The theme of moment by moment flow state continued throughout my entire trip, oftentimes not even knowing where I was going to stay until moments before. I don’t always travel this way, but having never been to this region I felt like I needed to be there to know where I wanted to be and to tune into where I felt guided.
From the moment I arrived, the trip was very full with people energy. From the shuttle to the retreat, the retreat itself, merging with another retreat on solstice day for dance and celebration, sharing sleep spaces and rooms with other people, and always dependent on someone else to get me where I was going. My naturally independent, hermit, introverted self totally rocked this energy at first! I’ve been intentionally re-writing so many stories and limiting beliefs around who I think I am and what I think I need and choosing to show up as who I am in every single moment. These experiences provided the perfect opportunity to do just that.
Counting the days of my cycle and moving deeper into luteal, I knew that my capacity to hold it down at the rate I had been had a fast approaching expiration date. No matter my practices, once I officially enter into separation mode, the first chamber of menstruation, it’s game over.
It doesn’t matter where I am, what I’m doing or who I’m around. When separation mode settles in I can care less about the external world.
All I want to do is retreat into my cave to be and bleed! No more people energy, no more expectations, no more conversations. I’m done and could really care less what the external world wants from me. This time it happened mid party on the beach. I was done. Out. Over it.
Knowing that I was going to be in moon time mode, I had what seemed to be the perfect, synchronistic opportunity present itself for a place to stay.
I booked myself accommodations on a community property that had a little yurt like tent on the property with a cenote and provided three meals a day. That’s like a dream come true while bleeding! You’re telling me that I’ll be surrounded by nature, with sacred waters on the land, all meals will be provided and I don’t have to do any dishes the whole time?!? Sign me up!
At that point, I was so overwhelmed with people energy that I just needed some psychic space and a little break!
Now here’s the thing about following your internal guidance and synchronicity. Sometimes we are intuitively led to a situation that we think is going to be one thing and it turns out completely different. The trap can be thinking, “my guidance led me astray! I must not have been listening because this wouldn’t have happened if I did!”
However, that is not true.
Our soul is here on a continual path of growth and evolution. Our guidance system is designed to lead us to the perfect scenarios that will provide just that. In the moment, it may not always seem to be the most smooth or easy.
When you get rid of the idea of something being bad or good and realize that everything is good and that life is always working out to support the growth and evolution of your soul, you begin to see life through a different lens. One that feels much more supportive, expansive and empowering.
Believe it or not, life is always working out for you, it’s just not always evident in the moment.
As soon as I began to settle into my space, I realized how noisy it was! There was beautiful song being sung in a community zone around a fire which on one hand was beautiful, but on the other hand I just needed some peace and quiet. I had been running on the last of my extroverted fumes, dropping deeper into luteal and separation and I just needed some space!
The next morning the constant buzz of conversation picked up as I realized I was right in the center of closely placed community structures. So much for some psychic space!
As the day progressed I realized that I wasn’t going to get the deep relaxation that I had anticipated during moon time if I stayed there during my bleed. As I sat with my guides that morning, their message was direct and clear. “See if there is somewhere else that you can transfer on the property that’s more quiet and secluded or get on AirBnB and find a new spot to transfer to. You know that if you stay here, you will not get what you need.”
No matter how clear and direct, in came the instant rationalizations…
“But I already paid to be here and I’ll be losing money if there’s no one to take my spot.”
“If I change locations it will happen on day 2 of my bleed and that’s wayyyyy more energy than I want to put out.”
“It’s really not that bad. Maybe the conversation will stop, at some point...maybe?”
“It’s fine. I already paid to be here. Maybe there’s a lesson to learn in not having everything go my way.”
“But it’s so beautiful here and I have a cenote right outside my door!”
Yes, there were some lessons to learn, but learning to deal with what I had and “make it work” definitely wasn’t it. That idea in and of itself is old paradigm energy that I am no longer choosing to operate in.
The lesson that I needed to learn is that I can create any reality for myself. That I know what I need to feel most supported in life and I have the means and resources to make that happen. Life is not about suffering and enduring, but more about realizing that I am a source consciousness creator being. That if I choose to create a different experience and choose in whole heartedly, I will be supported in the most seamless way possible.
Even though I knew what I needed to do, it took me the rest of the day to fully commit. After calls with girlfriends, testing with my pendulum and muscle testing, all giving me the clear answer of, “yes, this is what you need to do.” I finally committed to make the move and found myself a secluded and quiet place to be.
While it felt like a lot more energy than I wanted to put out on day two, I am so grateful that I tuned into the true lesson I was needing to learn and realized that I am not a victim of the circumstances of my life. Ever. I always have free will, I always have a choice and can choose to create a different experience for myself, especially when it comes to supporting myself to thrive.
In the moment I chose to act, life aligned to support me in what played out to be the most seamless way. Why? Because I chose in whole heartedly and trusted that I would be supported in all the right ways. I’m super grateful that I made the transition. It was EXACTLY what I needed. I literally didn’t leave my new spot for over 36 hours! A quiet, peaceful spot in the jungle with fabulous hosts. It charged me up in just the right way for the remainder of my journey and taught me a great lesson in not settling.
I decided many moons ago that I am done with almost, but not quite situations in my life. You know that energy… “this is almost what I want, but not quite, but I’m just going to justify and rationalize why I’ll keep doing it.” No more. Thank you life for providing me with the opportunity to flex my muscles of exactly what I want! Life is your easel, a blank canvas to paint upon the deepest desires of your heart. You don’t have to settle. You are a source consciousness creator being, realizing that it is you who creates worlds. It is you who creates your world. Set your spirit free and realize that there are no limitations except those you place upon yourself. Let yourself dream up your greatest heart's desire, believe that you can have it and commit to settle for nothing less. Life is what you make it. Go on now. You have dreams to manifest into reality.